I Wish I Could Have Said

Dear Old Friend,

I saw you in the store today and a feeling of joy warmed my heart at your presence. Yes, it has been some time since we’ve seen each other but no matter how long, that warmth never changes.

I wanted to tell you how important you are to me and how much you have touched my heart and impacted my life. I wanted to tell you how brave I think you are for all that you’ve been through and overcome. I wanted to tell you what an amazing person I think you are and that I love you dearly, my friend.

But the grocery store is no place for such deep truths, and so instead we spoke about the weather and the possibility of rain. We said our “it’s nice to see you’s” and went on our way.

And such a shame it is that there are so many places that are not the place for such deep truths.

This was an encounter that had my heart filled with thoughts for what felt like an eternity. I began to pay attention to each encounter that I had on a daily basis and compared the words that I said with the words that I actually wanted to say, those words that came straight from my heart.

It made me wonder why we all get caught up in the social niceties, how small talk has become our acceptable form of relating to one another. It made my heart sad at the loss of all that goes unsaid.

I began to take these encounters and write down the true words from my heart. I sit here now and can’t help but wonder at the what if’s. What if we always said the truest words that come from our heart? What if I always said all the things that I wish I could have said?

Perhaps someday the world will change or perhaps even I will find the courage to rebel against the accepted norms of social niceties and let the light shine on the deeper truths and words of the heart.

Some of the things that I wish I could have said …

• Even your sorrow is beautiful as it shows the depth and power of your love.
• When I am gone I hope you will remember me with love. I hope you will forgive the tired me, the rushed me, the overwhelmed me, and the sad me. I hope you will remember that I loved with all my heart even when the noises of the world were louder than my quiet voice.
• There are times when there is just the smallest crack in the armor that you wear over your heart. I wish I could tell you that in those moments, you have never been more beautiful!